Long time no write

Lots of things have happened and I can't seem to find where to start.

Hello strangers, I don't really know if there's someone out there reading, but it's ok. 

Remember those posts about my boyfriend? Yeah, that's not happening anymore, and I'm ok with it really. :) 

When something it's not meant to last forever you just have to let it go, so I did...He may not be perfect and he may have hurt me but it's alright, I wish him the very best.

Anyways! I'm in my second year of college now! WOW times flies huh? I've made more friends and I'm becoming a little bit more sociable, which is a wonderful thing. 

Everything at home seems to be getting better, although we are having a little money problem but we'll get by I'm sure. It's just that we're not used to not having my dad around and we wont be any time soon. 

I have a lot to say but so little time, so I'll try to write again later this day or tomorrow. :) 

Until next time, have a good one. 

Sh*t happens

It's been a pretty f*cking hard year, at least in my case it has; some uncles died, my dad died, and now someone who wasn't really my uncle but I did love him like one died last friday, no one thought I cared that much because no one really thought I cared for him as much or something, but I did and I really got sad, and I still am...I'm struggling with school, and can't wait for vacations, I know things will get better and that everything will go back to normal, or at least I'm hoping for it, I've got to keep a positive attitude right?
A friend once told me that being positive wasn't his thing and that he found it stupid and idiotic, and maybe it is, but maybe being positive doesn't mean really believing what you are saying, maybe just maybe it's means you've got no other option but being positive or else you will drown in sadness, and that's something I wont do.
I don't give up that easily, sure, I complain a lot, and cry sometimes, and shout, and I even say that I give up and that I wont do anything anymore, but I just SAY it, I always keep on walking forward, I have the right to scream, complain, get sad, and everything I want, and it doesn't mean I'll just sit down waiting for everything to either get better or get worst; I'm not that type of person, I'll fight until there's no more reason to fight.
Right now I can fully understand that nothing it's forever and that persons you hold dear can disappear just like that...in the blink of an eye...And it's sad, but that in a weird way makes me want to try harder, to do what I want to do when I can and not a day after, because tomorrow will be to late...
I regret so many things I didn't do before my dad died, but I wont anymore, because I know he and everyone else I lost this past 3 years are watching me from some place I can't see, I don't know if heaven because I kind of don't believe in that stuff, but some place hidden and at peace.
I may not make sense in this post but I don't care, I needed this so bad and I'm happy I wrote it.

Have a good one :) thank you for reading.

-diana

Hey there

Hi Hey Hey! Sorry for the long abscense ):! I've been busy lately and sooooooo tired that I just did't have it in me to write in the blog.
Not much in my life pretty much the same, ups and downs, my brother is gonna get married on april! That's kind of the only thing going on sooooo, bye strangers!

Valentine's day

I'll just say one thing and be over with this post...

I expected much more, really disappointed.

Sick, thinking out loud...yeah, fun :)

Well, it's been 6 months now since my dad passed away, I don't really know what I want to say about it though, I don't feel the need of saying anything really, just that I still miss him and always will.

I've been kind of sick lately (totally sucks!), I couldn't enjoy my four day weekend! And today at class I couldn't stop coughing, the teacher just kept on staring at me, waiting for me to cough and I couldn't hold it in, and when finally my cough seized, the sneezing made it's appearance! And all I said was ''BALLS!'' the teacher stared but I couldn't help it, it was one of those moments when you think to yourself but without noticing you say it out loud you know? It was funny because she didn't say anything just stared for a moment and then went on with the class, while I was laughing so hard in my mind. 

I was going to talk to you strangers more about thinking out loud but, maybe other time? 

Okay, now that you insist, I'll proceed then, stop begging now, please, STOP! (so sad that no one reads this and still I have to convince myself that there is someone out there reading, to you I say ''thank you'' ) 

Well let's see, the other time I remember doing that is when I was hanging with a crush of mine at high school and I was sitting on the floor and he was falling asleep with his head laid on my legs, and just the way he was he looked so so so cute and I said it, yes, I did ''How cute'' with that stupid girly voice I just couldn't help doing while speaking with him, all dreamy and ...stupid hahaha and I knew he didn't like me so as I said it I thought ''FUDGE!'' (no bad words here, not big ones anyway) and he just opened his eyes and stared and said ''what?'' and I replied ''what?'' , ''what you just said'' ''nothing, I said nothing'' and then it became really awkward for the rest of the day hahaha, I don't regret it though, it was fun and now we remember that day and find it kind of funny :) .

I don't think I have any more stories about thinking out loud, hmmm, no I think not, I can't remember one at the moment anyway. 

So....sayonara strangers, thanks for reading.

Remember Play-Doh? I bought some and
have been playing non stop with it.

Bad habits

I really should start continuing what I start...I mean, kind of all the things I start end up forgotten because of my lack of good memory, for instance right now I just remembered I have a half eaten milky way in the fridge, I have like a dozen drawings half colored or half drawn,I forgot to finish my homework so I guess I'll finish it up after this post, and last but not least I forgot to keep on writing this past days, ha ha ha sorry (even though I'm not sure if anyone is reading).
I'm getting more comfortable being the wheel now :) it's almost kind of fun already! WHOOPEE!
Anyway I should probably get back to folding my clothes hahaha forgot that too, seriously! I'm the worst case of laziness or bad memory ever...or both! Bye for now! Don't worry I wont forget you strangers again, I promise.

No picture today though, sorry

Enough!

No more crying, no more whining!
---------------------------------------------
Yesterday had to be the toughest day ever at school! I came home with a huge headache that I just died the moment my head touch my bed, lol.
Right now I'm getting ready for another day, but it won't be as bad today though, I hope.
I'm kind of happy, because I seemed to be getting better at socializing ha ha, it got easier for me to you know...Talk ha ha, I'm such an awkward person though, most of the time what I try to say doesn't get out right, lol; but my friends understand me so, that's good ha ha. The rest of the people that hear me saying something awkward tend to just look at me with a ''wtf?'' face, and I just laugh, heck, if I can't laugh about myself it isn't fun right?

Hope you have a great day strangers :)!

sad and tired

I hate this, I hate being so f**cking in love with him, he just doesn't understand, and I keep trying, and smile at him, and try to make everything alright again but I get tired you know? It's like constantly saying ''Hi'' to someone who just keeps on ignoring you...
I'm scared, I don't want this, I don't want to love him like this, so much, too much, he says he loves me and I believe him, I trust him, yet I feel somehow we're falling apart and it scares the s*ht out of me.
I'll just keep on trying, I wont give up, if I did it would mean I never loved him as much as I thought, so I'll keep on beside him, fighting until we grow strong together once more.




YUCK! Girly stuff! My gender gets over me again! Sorry :(

When it's the next holiday again?

Wow, first day of school and I'm already asking that? Must have been awful! Well, not really, I actually liked the teachers and all the subjects and I was happy to see all my school friends again, but...this semester it's going to be hell compared to the first one! I'm even taking classes like at 5-7pm! But it will be fun I guess, I like my career so...yeah, I'll just have to get used to it hahaha.
And I'm proud to say that I did my homework! Wuhuu! I feel responsible ha ha
Maybe tomorrow will be better than today? Let's hope so!
Thanks for reading strangers! C-ya!

Yuck! All ready to go sleep now! 

Driving and other things

Hi there again! :)
Recently I've been driving for the first time on my own (19 years old and just getting started driving? I know, lame) and it has been great! I love the feeling of not worrying in ''oh god, how am I supposed to return home after this? '' ''hey can you give me a lift home? '' haha it's awesome! But it's kind of scary because some of the streets here in Mexico are all messed up! Seriously you can't tell in wich lane you are, but in those hard times I found myself remembering my dad saying all of those little tricks for driving that at the time he told them to me I never really took any importance to, but now I'm in need of haha it's funny how I always thought ''uggh ok dad! I know dad *rolling eyes* '' haha and now I'm like ''what now dad?! :| '' .
Besides that I haven't done anything but play videogames like crazy! I got myself a ps3 for christmas, because I found my dad's agenda and he had wrote down that he was going to buy it for me after having me asking for it all year long, so I said to myself  ''Ok, I have his approval then? '' and my mom told me it was okay for me to buy it, so I did. So, when my boyfriend bought himself Skyrim he thought I would be ''stop playing and take me out! You pay more attention to that stupid game!'' BUT I also bought it, so...yeah, we didn't have any problems with each other for playing hahaha.
I'm kind of nervous and anxious at the same time, you see, tomorrow it's my first day in my 2nd semester of college, and even though I know everyone in my class I still can't shake off the nervousness, you know? That funny you get every first day of school, yeah! That one! Well, anyway...I think I should probably get going, you know with me having class tomorrow and stuff... I'm not sleepy at all! I don't know if I'll be able to wake up tomorrow haha, wish me luck :)!

G'night strangers!

Thank you if you're reading :)

How to even begin...

Hello there strangers,
I don't even know how to start this kind of thing...I'll just start with an introduction I guess...
My name is Diana Alex (you don't need my last name now do you?), I'm now 19 years old and I currently live in Mexico (I used to live in phoenix, AZ), I study Physiotherapy, I have one older brother of err..21 or 22 years of age I don't remember ha ha sorry, a little one of 11 years and a little half sister of 7; I'm the proud daughter of a house wife, and a former accountant.
I made this account a while back and didn't wrote anything because some big thing happened in my life that would change the whole picture for me, and writing here wasn't a priority at the time, sorry.
Well how about I tell you about that big thing that happened almost 6 months ago? ...But before that you need to know some things about my dad, he was the best man I've ever met, haha I suposse everyone says that about his/her dad right? Anyway, he was just the coolest dad, we shared musical taste, movies of interest, and he was just a person who loved to make other people laugh, he was a prankster and most of the people that knew him thought he was just childish, and yes, he was, he would throw fits just like my little brother, get angry when I HAD to send HIM to bed because he had work the next morning, but even though he did all those things he wasn't irresponsible as a father, he would work his butt off for us to get the best education he could afford, he remember all our birthdays and made the effort to makes us smile on that special day. He would take us to the movies even though he fell asleep every time at the theater, he would do just about anything to make me smile when I was crying, he got jealous of my male friends because he thought one of them was my boyfriend ha ha, he trusted me and that's one of the things I loved the most, he trusted me with all his heart, he knew I wouldn't ever do something he wouldn't approve off, he was just awesome like that; on the other hand with his brothers and sisters he was always helping them out, giving them money when needed, lending them his car, well just about anything they needed my dad provided; at work he was the best of the best, he actually was the boss, but never treated anyone with disrespect, he treated everyone the same, his employees loved him.
For some reason or another my parents got a divorce when I was 9 years old, years passed and my dad never stopped loving my mom, girlfriend after girlfriend he told me that he could never find someone as great as my mom, but my mom was already married to another guy, now, it wasn't my moms fault, my dad actually was kind of an idiot as a husband (that might have been his only flaw [?] ), anyway, with one of his girlfriends came my little half sister, at first I didn't like her of course, I thought she would take me off my throne as the only daughter! But she didn't my dad loved her just as he loved us, but for some reason I was always the closest to him (not bragging just saying the truth here), anyway, he broke up with my sister's mom because she turned out to be only after his money (surprise surprise huh? evil step mom alert!) she told him to send me away, to live with my mom or something, my dad got mad and broke it off (awww! ♥), we kept visiting my sister and actually she lived with us a while, but last year thing got bad. My dad was in debt and to pay it he decided to sell one of our cars, the one he lent my sister's mother, anyway cutting to the chase, some terrible things happened and after two months, my dad passed away on the 3rd of August of last year.
That is why I'm starting this blog, a friend told me that talking about it might help me, but you see, I'm not good talking about my feelings with people, I'm not good at that thing called ''socializing'' either, so I thought this internet thing might suit me ha ha...
I'm still not so sure if I've totally grasped the fact that he's gone, I mean some days I still wake up believing he will be downstairs getting ready for work, I've dreamed about him so many times talking to me like always, making me laugh, pulling pranks, making me angry or just simply smiling with those big arms open waiting to hug me, it's been hard, but I'm ok; I still have a lot of happy memories with him, and that's what keeps me going, after all people are not meant to be forgotten just to get over, I'm never letting him slip away of my mind, I will always remember him with a smile and maybe with a tear, but a tear of joy, because I know not everybody gets the chance of having such a great dad as I did.
Well this is my first entry, sorry if it's not satisfying or funny or even happy, it's just something I needed to say, to some strangers that might not even care about this 19 year old girl life.

I hope you're still pulling pranks wherever you are old dog.

Until next time, thank you if you just read all of this nonsense.